Want to know more about my life?  Check out the podcast interview I recently did for The People of Kink

For pretty much my entire sexual life until about six months ago, one of the few hard and fast rules in my sex life was NOTHING GOES IN MY ASS.  I had permitted some experimentation over the years and never found receiving any ass-related activity remotely pleasurable.  I couldn’t even find it pleasurably painful.  I couldn’t even fathom what anyone found pleasurable about receiving assplay, and I pretty much just gave up, even though I lamented the inevitable deduction in my Slut Points as a result.

Then I got very sick.  For a long time.

My pussy was in shaky condition for several weeks from a yeast infection that turned into an off-an-on urinary tract infection…  And then it became downright unusuable after a kidney infection, another yeast infection, a likely ovarian cyst rupture, and an IUD with homicidal intentions (yes, this all really happened in the space of a couple of weeks).  All told, my pussy was completely unfuckable for two months, but it had been dubious for six weeks before that.

Of course, when I was at my sickest, I wasn’t really missing the sex much because I was in so much fucking pain.  But once I started to recover more, I started going nuts from being unfucked. It wasn’t just the physical sensation I missed (although Goddess knows I did, especially since for a lot of that time the lame external orgasms I could achieve frequently hurt to have)–it was the deeper emotional connection with  partners that I associate with being penetrated (with whatever bodypart).

So after slowly losing my mind for a couple of weeks, I came home one night and begged my husband to fuck my ass.  He’d only ever really done it once before for about thirty seconds, and he was understandably a bit wary.  I doubted I could ever get any regular pleasure from the experience, so I asked him to just dirty talk the hell out of me and fuck me into subspace to make it enjoyable for me.  I had persistently refused his many very polite requests to fuck my ass for yeeeeears.  So he was pleasantly surprised to find that whereas in the past I couldn’t cum if someone was even touching my ass, I actually managed to cum this time (screaming my head off) while he fucked it.

Well, I was desperate.

At that point, I was still regarding ass sex as a terrible substitute for “normal sex” (yeah, that’s a relative term for a kinky pansexual slut.  But this is my post, so just deal with the terminology).  My other partners got wind of my desperation and that my ass was now available, and started having a field day.  This was, afterall, a largely unexplored territory of my fairly well-explored slut body.  But the key epiphany came fairly early on, when VirginSlut was playing with my clit, and Capt was experimentally fingering my ass.

“Wait, go back!” I said frantically when he stopped doing something he had been doing.  “Whatever you were doing before actually felt good.” (You have to imagine the gasping surprise in my voice here).

We learned that night that the key to unlocking my ass was this weird side-to-side motion (cue Dr. Steel), and that the way to give me brain-breaking screaming orgasms was to bang my g-spot through my ass.  This was a double-epiphany, because historically I haven’t been able to tolerate much g-spot stimulation in my pussy, but it turned out to be just AWESOME coming through the back way.

And I got to have what I dubbed a “real orgasm” for the first time in months.

Because of my ass????

Of course, from that point on, it was just a gradual process of seduction.  There was an enthusiastic group of lovers to help me figure out that to get a cock into my ass, it usually worked a lot better to make me cum a couple of times with fingers first.  They stuffed fingers, silicone cocks, toys, and bio-cocks up me and kept startling me by how much fun it all could be.  The guys were still into the taboo part of the thing (asses are socially forbidden and dirty!), which is a fetish that I’ve never really been able to understand, but hey… I try to be GGG.  I just wanted to be able to have “real orgasms” again.

By the time my birthday orgy rolled around, and I could finally get my pussy thoroughly fucked, it felt weird by the end of the night that no one had fucked my ass.  I mentioned that sort of casually around 4 AM while dirty talking Capt… and he promptly fixed it.

And all I could think was: “Oh gods. I’ve turned into one of those sluts now.”

If you’re looking for a (im)moral to this story, I’m pretty sure it’s: if at first you don’t succeed, desperation and sexy people may fix that.

This was not written to be any other slut’s creed.  But this is how I do slutting.

I have sex for pleasure and satisfaction—my own, and my partners’.                     

• I do not have sex to manipulate people.
• I do not have sex to keep people in a relationship.
• I do not have sex because I can’t think of anything else to do.
• I do not have sex while intoxicated or with people who are, unless they are regular partners.
• I do not have sex because I’m “supposed to.”
• I can always say “no” if I want to—at any point, at any time, with any person.  As a slut, I usually choose not to.

If I seek sex for emotional validation or to feel wanted, I am honest with myself that this is what I want so I can fulfill the need.

• I may have sex with people just because they ask—if I am so inclined.
• I do my best not to emotionally hurt others or get hurt by fulfilling this need.
• I may yield to pressure for sex without becoming a “victim”; I may even be excited by it.  I can also stop it whenever I want.

I define “sex” and “fucking” as it suits my and my partners’ desires.

• I am not constrained by the heteronormative “coital imperative.”
• I may kiss and flirt without wanting to fuck; if that makes me a “tease,” so be it.

I enjoy being used sexually without it reducing my sense of self or personhood.

• I never knowingly allow someone to cheat on their partner(s) with me.

I enjoy using others sexually without it reducing their sense of self or personhood.

I practice safer sex for my own and my partners’ health.

• I try to remember that communication and knowing my partners is the most important aspect of safer sex.
• I recognize that “coitus,” while sexy, is a very risky sexual practice even with condoms and restrict it accordingly.